Archive for September, 2008


My Dick Is Tiny Too!

My Dick Is Tiny Too!


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Thanks to Jim Thome and the arms of John Danks and Ken Griffey Jr., the White Sox will represent the Central in the 2008 MLB Playoffs. John Danks pitched 8 shutout innings and Jim Thome broke up a 0-0 stalemate with a solo shot in the 7th. This all would not have been possible if it weren’t for the defensive play of Ken Griffey Jr.  With one out and Cuddyer on third, Griffey caught a medium flyball and thre the runner out at home on a nice scoop and tag by AJ Pierzynski. Bobby Jenks preserved it in the ninth for the 1-0 shutout.

Next up for them is a Thursday afternoon matchup with the Rays.  Should be a good one, it is even going to be in front of a packed house in Tampa.

It was a great way to start October baseball..

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I’m going to be out on business this week so here’s a quick hitting Kickin’ it With Kevin.

I May Be Wrong But I Doubt It

1. This weeks Idiot of the Week award goes to Ricky Williams. Williams earns the award for admitting to the media that he was tempted to smoke weed over the bye week and that after he is out of football he will continue to smoke weed. Some people never learn.

2. Though I don’t doubt that T.O. wants the ball more, every great player does. I just hope that this is yet another attempt by the press to blow out of proportion an innocent statement he made for ratings.

3. During week one I stated that Jay Cutler, Brandon Marshall, and Santonio Holmes were my breakout players of the season. Two out of three isn’t bad.

4. Again Al Davis demonstrates his stupidity. When Davis fired Mike Shannahan he told him he would not get his termination fee if he went to the Denver Broncos. Shannahan ignored him and went on to become one of the most successful coaches in the NFL and to get two Super Bowl rings. However, Shannahan never did get his fee. Davis is now trying to do the same with Lane Kiffin. According to ESPN, Davis has ceased the need to feed off of Kiffin’s soul to sustain his own life and told him that he is fired. The kicker being that he is not going to pay the contractually bound termination fee. Something tells me that Kiffin will not be as willing to forgo the fee as Shannahan was. Regardless, is there a worse owner, GM, or individual period in the NFL than Al Davis?

5. In the history of the NFL has there been a tougher division than what the NFC East currently is? Doubtful.

6. The New York Jets going for a two point conversion with two minutes left and up twenty points against the Cardinals is running up the score and a classless move. Where’s all the media outcry on this one?

The Fine Fifteen

1. New York Giants- How will the Giants offense look without Plaxico Burress?
2. Dallas Cowboys- How is it possible that T.O. wants the ball even more? Marion Barber only had eight carries. He should be the one complaining.

3. Tennessee Titans- Will Vince Young ever play football in Tennessee again? Kerry Collins is doing a fantastic job of managing the game, limiting errors and allowing the talent around him on the offensive side and defensive side to make plays. Young on the other hand throws interceptions…regularly.

4. Buffalo Bills- Is the AFC East the happiest division in football because they get to play the NFC West? Look I’m not saying that the Bills aren’t for real. In fact, I believe that they will win the AFC East. All I am pointing out is that it must be nice to play the Rams, Cardinals, Niners, and Seahawks.

5. Washington Redskins- In one week, how did Jason Campbell learn to stop staring down receivers? The first game of the season I could call out who Campbell was throwing to on every throw because his eyes were always staring down his target receiver right after the snap. Against Dallas I saw a different Campbell. Will this new and improved Campbell be there next week/

6. Philadelphia Eagles- Is there any doubt how much this team needs Brian Westbrook?

7. Pittsburgh Steelers- Oh where or where have their running backs gone? The Steelers are now without Willie Parker, Rashard Mendenhall, and Carey Davis. This leaves Mewelde Moore as the only current uninjured running back on the roster. However, the worst loss was starting guard Kendall Simmons on an already suspect offensive line.

8. Green Bay Packers- How did Matt Flynn beat out Brian Brohm for the back-up gig in Green Bay? With Aaron Rodgers hurt, wonder if this team wishes they had a veteran back-up now?

9. Carolina Panthers- Is it just me or are you surprised each week that this team keeps winning?

10. Indianapolis Colts- How will Peyton Manning will the Colts to another win this week?

11. Jacksonville Jaguars- Will this team ever find a legitimate number one receiver for David Garrard to throw to?

12. Denver Broncos- Can this team decide what defensive set they are going to run? One minute they’re a 4-3 and the next they’re a 3-4. It seems like they don’t have the personnel for either.

13. San Diego Chargers- Is Darren Sproles the fastest man in football?

14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers- Was there a more emotional and heart wrenching moment than when Matt Bryant kicked the game winning field goal for the Bucs and then looked to the sky and wiped his eyes in order to honor his 3 month old son that passed away?

15. Chicago Bears- Is it too early to say that Matt Forte is better than Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson combined? Nope. On another note, amazing goal line stand by the Bears.
Note- I’m waiting to see how much humble pie the Patriots ate over the bye week before I rank them again. Also, there are rumors swirling that Kevin O’Connell may get the start if Matt Cassell continues to fair poorly. Neither situation bodes well for the Patriots.

“My Beer Drunk Soul Is Sadder Than All The Dead Christmas Trees Of The World”

1. Dancing With the Stars is reportedly going to change to a Survivor based show in which the contestants themselves can vote people off. First to go, Warren Sapp. (Sapp is reportedly an asshole on the show..shocking).

2. After signing Cedric Benson, the Bengals have finally admitted that the the stripes on their uniforms are actually there to represent jail outfits, not the animal.

Non Football Quote of the Week

“Think of spoiled cat food and ulcerated cankers and expired donor organs. That’s how beautiful she looks.”-Victor Mancini in Chuck Palahniuk’s novel Choke

And I’m Out. Comments as always are welcome.

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After a couple weeks of he said she said, the Raiders have fired Coach Lane Kiffin. That brings the total to two after Scott Linehan was axed yesterday. This whole situation in Oakland was strange and in my eyes they will not do anything as long as Al Davis is in charge.  To add insult to injury the Raiders are not planning to pay the rest of his contract and was told over the phone.

With essentially a rookie quarterback, a rookie running back, and not many playmakers they actualy had leads in the fourth quarter against Buffalo and San Diego (they lost both).  I believe Kiffin is a good coach and will get more chances in the future.

Reports are saying that offensive line coach Tom Cable will take over as Head Coach. There is a press conference at 5:00 pm EST, so we will find out more then. The Raiders have a bye week this week followed by a road game @ New Orleans.

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Wow this is a great series on paper.  How scared must the best team in baseball be, having to play the Red Sox in the first round.  This series is filled with storylines and great matchups, the worst part of this series is the late start times in the east (9:30 and 10:00 pm for games 1 and 2).  It starts tomorrow with game 2 on Friday night. Anyway, here’s how it will breakdown.

Startting Lineups: The Angels lineup is awesome.  Vlad, Teixeira, Hunter, Figgins, Matthews Jr., Anderson, Napoli.  Pretty nice balance of speed, average and power.  They stay after you throughout the lineup.  The Red Sox lineup looks a lot different than the team that won last year, relying on Youkilis, Pedroia (MVP?), Ellsbury, and of course Ortiz.  This year they will need a good performance from Jason Bay, and Lowell and Drew (if they are healthy). Edge goes to the Angels.

Bench: This a big category in the NL, but you can win in the AL with your starting 9 hitters.  The angels have 4 good outfielders, one will probably be DH.  Sean Rodriguez is their utility middle infielder but does not bring much to the plate. The Red Sox have some options on their bench, with Cocoa Crisp and Jed Lowrie, who were both big parts during the season. Mark Kotsay can also make a difference in the game coming off the bench. Edge Red Sox.

Starting Pitching: The Angels will throw Lackey (12-5 3.75 ERA), Santana (16-7 3.49 ERA), and Saunders (17-7 3.41 ERA).  That is real good. The Red Sox are going with Jon Lester (16-6 3.21 ERA), Daisuke Matsuzaka (18-3, 2.90 ERA), and Josh Beckett (who cares he is dominant in the playoffs). The thing that is scary for Boston is that an oblique injury will puch Beckett back to Game 3.  Edge goes to Boston.

Bullpen: This has been the biggest strength for the Angels this season with Oliver, Arredondo, and Shields getting the ball to K-Rod with great ease. And obviously K-Rod had success breaking the single season saves record. The Red Sox bullpen is good too, anchored by intense close Johnathan Papelbon. Justin Masterson has done a good job in the 8th, with Delcarmen and Okajima’s help they should keep the Red Sox in games. The Edge still has to go to the Angels.

Intagibles: Both managers are very experienced in the post season. The Angels were 8-l vs Boston this year (Boston won the first matchup of the year). The angels have a monkey. The Red Sox have a nation.

Prediction: Each team wins at home, LAA Angels win series 3-2.

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I am really excited for this one game playoff between the Twins and White Sox to see who travels to Tampa Bay (for the record I have absolutely zero rooting interest too).  Does everybody remember last years one game playoff between San Diego and Colorado? A disputed Home Run call (hey we have replay now), a loss by the all-time saves leader, and a play at the plate where Matt Holiday never really touched home.  It was a great game to send us into postseason play and hopefully this one is too.

This time it pairs up the two central contending Minnesota Twins (88-74) and the Chicago White Sox (88-74).  It was just last week when the Twins swept the White Sox in a 3 game series at home to be in this position, but this time it will be in Chicago.  The teams were dominant at home against each other this year (Minnesota 8-1, Chicago 7-2), so that will probably play a role. The game will be shown nationally on TBS at 7:35 pm.

The Twins are sending Nick Blackburn to the hill (11-10 4.14 ERA) and the White Sox will counter with John Danks (11-9 3.47 ERA), who is coming off of a bad start against the Indians. Should be a good one.

Few SIde Notes: These stats count as regular season, so unless Joe Mauer goes 0-7 or worse he will win his second batting crown. The White Sox haven’t been to the postseason since winning it all in 2005. The twins didn’t make it last year after making it the year before. The last one game playoff in the AL was in 1995, Seattle beating the California Angels 9-1 winning the AL West.

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In reference to our NFL Picks: Week 4; a little separation has been created but not much.

Here are the standing after Week 4:

STANDINGS Correct Incorrect
Kevin 33 26
Rory 31 28
Mike 28 31

Game of note:

  • No one foresaw the Broncos desapointing in KC.
  • Only Kevin liked the Texans getting a TD on the road.
  • While only Rory had the Saints by a TD at home.
  • Unanimous picks: only the Chargers and ‘Skins and the Chargers covering almost did not happen. That is interesting.

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